My father and i

are close at arm’s length

He tells me I embarrass him

Because I wobbled off the

Straight and narrow,

Refused to bleat with the

Rest of the white sheep,

And became black.

My mother and I have

Always been too close

Too close encouraging a bond

That if broken, could kill

She cleaned my bloody wrists

When I tried to let go of life

The first time

The second time made her weary

And it made the nurses cry.

My brother and i

Share a creatively tortured soul

Self-deprecating and wise

But we’ve never been close;

 I don’t think he would

Offer a kidney

Or a loan

Or a hand to hold

If I needed it.

posted march 17,2008 on her myspace page only days before she died