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Voyeur  Ty-D-Bol Toilet Voyeur I go into the bathroom And I can't see That the tidy bowl man is watching me [not sure who the Ty-D Bowl Man is? He was a company mascot in the 70s.]
Nuclear Wrist Watch Watch wrist general use Is what the back said. I wore it every day And now I am dead. What they neglected to Tell me and what I Didn’t see before I started to die Was the little symbol. It was hard to see. In fact it was covered At a quarter after three. At first only the numbers on the watch face glowed, But the more I wore it the more it showed. My wrist changed its color To an odd shade of green. Then at night it became Clear I was easily seen. My hand started glowing Then soon so did my arm. The military said It would cause no harm. True it didn't hurt. And I was seen at night, But a glowing human Just couldn't be right. When I found out it was Killing me slowly I Knew that I would Soon have to die. My wristwatch killed me And now I am dead. So tomorrow they'll bury Me in a boxed lined with lead.
The Bug Zapper Late at night I leave the house. I sit on the hood of my car. I sit there quiet as a mouse. I sit watching and waiting Staring at the light. Waiting for the right moment When it comes out of the night. I see it coming from far off. It is so large and white. The moth has one thing on its mind How to get at that light. It tries and tries again and again Never reaching but never losing sight Of that caged in big brilliant light. If it were me I'd run in fright. It flies away only to come back flying Full force it hits mid flight. There's a Zap then a crack. The moth is near dead Its movement only slight.
Tiny Town Living in a tiny town Is just so much fun. Cruising all night long Until a quarter to one. We pull into the Hill. Oh, Boy what a thrill.
Mini-Golf or Lawn? Pink plastic lawn ornaments And other fun things. They make me so happy I just want to sing. A little lawn jockey. A big Cement deer. Two flamingos there.. A flock of ducks here A large oval birdbath With one of each kind Of bird from blue jay To pelican. Any thing I find. Three tiny elves live under A great big giant mushroom that's red with yellow dots. One even has a broom. A windmill That goes round And a fountain that works. A brick Path to the door. Keep off the grass you jerks. A sun dial in the garden. I even have flowers too. It’s just so neat sometimes I just don't know what to do. Some people think it's tacky. Some people want it off My lawn. Some have the gall to say It looks like a place to play mini golf.
The stapler It's evil like a snake Its metal fangs glisten As it punctures Its prey Leaving its fangs Folded in its victim forever It is always ready with its endless supply of fangs
The Date Take the pain away from me It hurts so much I can't see I see a fly on the wall Its life almost over its about to Fall The pain makes it hard to think I only comprehend the human stink Of lives like mine being wasted Never knowing the joys to be tasted There's a Fear growing deep inside A fear that you must run and hide The Lord said reap what you sow But just how far does it have to go Before I can be relieved I know it is hard to believe But for some it hurts so much When your date makes you go dutch It's like they do not care When they make you pay your share Take this pain away from me Just this once pay for me
The Fourteen Cent Stamp  14 Cent Stamp There's a man named Sinclair Lewis For some reason he's famed He's someone, but who? This Sinclair Lewis? And exactly what did he do? He doesn't have the greatest looks This Sinclair Lewis Did he write books?
Aeroplanes Airplanes are big Airplanes are Loud Airplanes go flying Up above the clouds Airplanes are noisy Airplanes are large Airplanes are like A big fat barge Airplanes are huge Airplanes aren't quiet I wonder if I Could learn to fly it
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